The Story of Cheesecake

Miss Cheesecake had turned zaftig since her reign in 1929.  She looked up Health Coach Maria Marlowe for a consultation.

"Look, I've been everyone's favorite on the dessert carts, the late-night diners, the old-fashioned delis.  Being the pin-up girl of desserts has cost me my looks, my figure, and my whole outlook on life.  I wish I could be --"

"You're a bombshell, Cheesecake.  I'm going to give you your bombshell blueprint.  Meet me tomorrow at 2pm on East 59th and Lex, at Williams - Sonoma."

"I'd rather meet you at Hamburger Heaven."  But of course Cheesecake knew she had to keep her appointment.

Health Coach Maria Marlowe

At exactly 2pm, Health Coach and Natural Food Chef, Maria Marlowe gently re-modeled Cheesecake.  She took away her graham crackers, the sour cream, the sugar, butter, and flour.  When she threw out her cream cheese, her client had a fit.

"What are you doing to me?!  I am not Cheesecake, Miss New York 1929, without cream cheese.  Are you nuts?"

"Funny you say that, because I'm going to bathe you in cashew milk."

Maria poured soaked cashews in Vitamix Pro 750, along with lemon juice, coconut nectar, cold-pressed coconut oil, vanilla, and water.

Cheesecake screamed and felt as if the Centrifuge of Terror would never end. 

"Cheesecake, you need a foundation in life.  Do you know what makes for a good foundation?", Maria yelled above the motor's noise.

Mercy.  Just have some mercy.  "I have no foundation.  You know as well as I do that we desserts are just tarts and temptations.  What foundation?!"

"Brains, Cheesecake.  You need a good brain.  Walnuts are great for brains and I'm going to make the best crust out of walnuts."

She threw in some walnuts and dried dates back into the Centrifuge of Terror.

Walnuts look like brains Maria pointed out.  Right, Cheesecake thought.  There's the left hemisphere and the right hemisphere.  She was beginning to become more lucid. 

organic cold-pressed coconut oil

She was also shedding off all of her excess weight.  Cheesecake learned that cold-pressed coconut oil was a good fat.  It helped to de-tox.  Another reason why she felt so clean and healthy.

Cheesecake became very quiet.  She turned to Maria.  "Did you always eat like this?"

Maria confessed that before she found her blueprint, she ate Pizza Hut and Entenmann's.

Cheesecake smirked - she hadn't seen Pizza Hut or an Entenmann's since she ran away from suburbia at 16.

"Don't be such a city snob, Cheesecake.  I am not done with you yet."

Maria pulled out a springform pan.  She smoothed out the paste of walnuts and dates onto the bottom.

Walnut&Dates Crust

Then Maria poured the creamy cashew emulsion into the springform pan.  And instead of putting her in the oven, she put Miss Cheesecake in the freezer for a little Arctic Ice Spa treatment. 

    

Batter

The result: a trimmer, nutritionally dense, guilt-free, gluten-free, dairy-free dish with brains.  She wasn't just a pin-up girl anymore.  In the wake of her transformation, Miss Cheesecake became a Paragon of True Beauty.

The End

        

                                             Cheesecake

                     Recipe courtesy of Maria Marlowe, www.bombshellblueprint.com

Paragon of True Beauty

      

Crust Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups walnuts
1/2 cup dates
Pinch of salt
1/4 cup of dried, unsweetened shredded coconut

Filling Ingredients:
2  1/2 cups raw cashews, soaked in water overnight
3/4 cup lemon juice
1/2 cup liquid coconut nectar
3/4 cup coconut oil
1 Tablespoon vanilla extract
Water - as needed to blend



Instructions:
1.  For the crust, whiz walnuts in high-speed blender to powder.  Then add dates salt and process until combined.  Mixture should stay together when squeezed in your hand.

2.  Line the bottom of a 6-inch cheesecake pan with shredded coconut and then press in walnut mixture.

3.  For filling - drain cashews.  Then throw in blender on high for roughly 2 minutes or until completely smooth.  Add water, if the nuts had not been soaked well or blender is lacking in power.  Take care as not to add more water than necessary (just enough to create the creamy texture).

4.  Pour mixture on top of crust.

5.  Place in freezer for at least an hour.

6.  Store in refrigerator for up to 3 days.