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| Mermaid from Charm City Ellen Kim, 2014 |
Mermans and Mermaids gathered for their annual convention in Coney Island. Many bellied up to Ruby's bar for a Brooklyn Lager to go with their fries.
Speaking of which, this little fry was quite the boardwalk baba:
Mermaids are such beautiful creatures, MPP interviewed one to find out about their dietary/beauty secrets.
Q: What is it that makes you glow? Your scales look so shiny. Is it the french fries, the lager, or Nathan's hotdogs?
A: "Oh dear God, none of those, puh-leeze! Because it's a fun day, most of us mermaids have gone crazy and are eating sailors' food."
Q: So you don't eat like this all the time?
A: "Heavens no. We just show up for humans now and then, but we really can't sustain ourselves on this stuff. This is why we don't live with you folks."
Q: But I see you eating our waffle fries and franks with relish. I don't get it.
A: "Listen, I eat fun foods occasionally. I'm a mermaid - not a monk. Alright, I don't know why I said that, I've never eaten in a monastery. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I ate like this all the time, I'd be bloated and look like her."
Q: Um, I think you mean "him". That's Sigmund the Sea Monster.
A: "Hello - my point exactly. Eating too much crap messes up with the hormones and a 'she' could start looking like a 'him', 'he', whatever and a-vice-a-versa. You get my driftwood. Ha-ha."
Her "ha-ha" sounded a bit manly, but she was still stunning.
Q: Okay, I think I'm catching on. What do you normally eat?
A: "Well, besides a whole lot of plankton, we eat sea vegetables. Arame, dulse, kelp, and laver. Ooh, I love a good laver. I'd like to take the buns off this hotdog and wrap it in a laver. This gluten-free lifestyle is growing on me like sea moss."
As much as I wanted to take this funny mermaid home with me, we just swapped our contact info's and said good-bye. And in case she's reading, this dish is dedicated to the pageant mermaids for all their shimmer and shine.
Slimy Sea Stems, the Recipe
Ingredients:
12 ounces of packaged sea plant stems
2 tablespoonfuls of cold-pressed sesame oil
1 teaspoonful of toasted sesame oil
2 tablespoonfuls of toasted or raw sesame seeds to sprinkle
Himalyan pink salt (a pinch for taste)
1 clove of garlic
1 teaspoonful of agave
1 tablespoonful of nama shoyu
Instructions:
1) Take your sea stems from the package and rinse under running water. Rinse and repeat until the salt coating the stems are gone.
2) Soak stems in a large bowl of water.
3) Put 6 cups of water in a pot and turn heat to High.
4) When the water gets to a boil, throw in the sea stems.
5) Blanch for several seconds and strain through a colander.
6) Pour the cold-pressed sesame oil into a pan and warm it up at Medium High.
7) Smash the clove of garlic and place in pan.
8) When the pan sizzles, place in the sea stems.
9) Pour in the nama shoyu and mix plant stems in the pan for 2 to 3 minutes.
10) In a glass or ceramic bowl, mix in the agave and the toasted sesame oil.
11) Add salt to taste. Because they have been preserved in salt and seawater before the rinse and soak, add very carefully. Taste as you add a little at a time.
12) Toss in the sesame seeds. Mix it around before plating.
This dish can be eaten with rice or thrown in a salad. It's even yummy all on its own. This nice slimy snack is good for your skin, hair, and nails. And if you're a mermaid, it's good for your scales.
Make this summer a big splash and eat your sea vegetables. ~e
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